The brain echoes
Words and air are caught-caged
Skin freezes
Blood boils
Stomach becomes a vortex
Acid
Might as well be a knife in the heart
The brain echoes
Words and air are caught-caged
Skin freezes
Blood boils
Stomach becomes a vortex
Acid
Might as well be a knife in the heart
I woke up to the vision of a machine beast hovering outside of my window. Walked down into the kitchen and observed eight men in what looked to be a trench three meters from my porch. This house is nothing if not entertaining. As I write there is a methodical swaying of the house as the machine beast continues its further rape of the land.
What a polarization in living arrangements: from a house that was close to two hundred years old, in a neighborhood that hasn’t experienced anything larger than a snow plough in years, to a home that is so fresh, that my row is the first in the neighborhood. From high maintenance, to stress free- living. From character of a home to character inside the home.
Don’t get me wrong- given the choice I would gladly take back the family home, but this is a new chapter- I am starting out completely on my own. I will embrace the lessons life will teach- for the new opportunities in creativity.
I just need to get used to the sounds…and the swaying…:-)
Forgive my silence for so long. So much is happening in life.
The house is sold- I must be out by the end of this month. I have mixed feelings about it: I had to do it- for financial survival and for the sake of having my life in one space. Every fibre of my ideal spirit said hold on to it- there must be a way. To the best of my knowledge there wasn’t. I tried my hardest- no-one could say different.
Like a worker ant or a soldier, if I think I am working for the right cause, I will work until I drop. This is a double edged sword- I don’t know when to let go- to say enough.
So there it is- the end of an era. Five generations of my family lived in this house. On July 28, that connection comes to an end.
I must start to make my own story, and tell the stories of the past- which feeds my spirit. Life will go on.
Maybe if I had some family this wouldn’t be so hard: mother, father all gone- no sisters or brothers. My friends are my family now- my rock. They are a gift I can only spend the rest of my life repaying- I am blessed.
But there is a part of my soul that longs for my dad’s hug of reassurance, my mother’s council, my aunt’s words of wisdom.
I must be strong now for my daughter- my gift. I pray that she will remember(I certainly will help) the family home, and know the interesting history of our family.
I will post again on this blog soon. It has been my anchor: having the opportunity to touch base with like minded people- even distant family members. Thank you.