Explaining Love Play

Posted on October 19, 2010 by brushedwithmystery

Today in the car I was listening to “I’m Only Going to Break your Heart,” by Tiao  Cruz, and Morgan seemed to like the song- she started to sing to it. After the song was over she asked me, “Why would someone want to do that?”

“Do what I answered innocently.”

“What does break your heart mean?”  She asked in her honest manner.

“It means to hurt someone who loves you.”

“Why would someone want to do that?”

How do you answer that?  How does one explain to a child the intricacies of the love play of adults?

It means that you warn someone that they can’t trust your attentions because they are fleeting.  It sounds so much less attractive when explained in plain English.

I never realized how hard it would be to explain the complexities of the world to a child- I barely understand it myself

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The Importance of Placement

Posted on October 14, 2010 by brushedwithmystery

I had an epiphany this weekend.  It was something I might have read from Malcolm Gladwell- the importance  of placement.  Let me explain.

My little girl is an only child.  She likes to dress up, draw, paint, and watch movies.  I was increasingly anxious about the fact she never played with toys on her own.  I thought it was part of her being an only child, and looking for someone to play with- but I was an only child, and I remember playing on my own.  So what was it that stopped her from doing this activity?

This weekend it dawned on me- it’s placement .  Usually I would collect all of her toys from around the apartment , and place them in a box-nightly-in her room.   There they would stay until she found them again, and played with them- and the cycle would continue.  This time I took a smaller container  and placed all of her hand toys in it- I also left a small doll house  in the living room (the space in which she spends most of her time with her family).  The result- amazing.

A week later-Morgan now plays with the toys-daily.  What I have learned is that children- and possibly anyone – are drawn to objects that are either suggested or placed in an area of proximity.  It makes me think- in line with the politics of the media- how susceptible we all are to suggestion.  Now if we could just use this for good- in education, in environmental  awareness, in character development- what a better society we would be.

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The Politics of the Media

Posted on October 13, 2010 by brushedwithmystery

I visited one  of my friends the other day on Thanksgiving Monday.  As the afternoon progressed, and we had finally caught up on our recent lives, I shared the fact that I had started a blog.  My friend and her husband were interested and proceeded to look at my blog immediately. As the various titles flashed down the screen the title of long gun registry came up.  “Why would you support something that even the police don’t want?”  My friend’s husband asked.  “Don’t want?” was my dumbfounded response, “but that is the very reason I am in favour of it. The police want the long gun registry.”

“No they don’t,” was his curt response, “ or at least they are divided on it.”  I was confused .  I had believed that the police wanted the long gun registration, and that the topic was just a result of politics over public good- I felt naive and ignorant.

“What police official is against the Long Gun Registry?” was my next question.

It turns out- according to my friend (I will now always pay attention to where I learn information), that Police Chief Vernon White of Ottawa was against the long gun registration .  How did I, a person that spends so much time in Ottawa, and listens constantly to the CBC, not learn this?  This leads me to my new understanding of the world.  Not only must we judge our politicians in terms of what political gain, and end they are serving in their political life, but we must be discriminating of where we get our information ( I really thought I knew this).

Our broadcasting stations have just as much vested in what we think, and how we are swayed as any politician.  How do generally interested, but time strapped citizens such as myself keep up?  Do I have the ability to read a myriad of  newspapers, and listen to various radio stations to have a balanced understanding of the true facts?  Not really.   In the blink of an eye, being an informed citizen got a whole lot harder.

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Pondering Responsibility

Posted on October 11, 2010 by brushedwithmystery

It is one of those days that I question everything: attempting to mark assignments.  Did I teach them enough? Attempting to pay bills.  Did I plan well enough?  Attempting to interact with my daughter.  Am I doing this enough? Am I giving her enough time? Am I giving her enough life experiences? Attempting to get some house work done.  Should I be spending this time on something so trivial?  Attempting to have some time for myself.  Do I deserve this? Shouldn’t I spend more time working? Attempting to find some time for friends.  Shouldn’t I spend more time with my family and getting work done? Attempting to keep the family home.  Shouldn’t I just give up, and be financially secure?

Where does doubt come from?  Uncertainty about what we have done, and possibly the reasons we have done it.  Guilt.  Always guilt.  Shutting the barn door after the horse it gone. It is my fault, I should have…

There are so many people I know in life who would bold face deny any responsibility. They would certainly find a reason for anyone else being responsible for a mistake or a miscalculation.  Having been around younger people for a decade now I would certainly say it is the characteristic of being young, “It’s not my fault, you just didn’t…”

But as you age, hopefully one develops that sense of personal responsibility. It is clear that many don’t. How well do they manage in their private life?  Do I care? Where does the balance lie?  I guess it depends on the topic of conversation.

What about those of us who are willing to take responsibility?  Maybe I have always taken more responsibility on than I need to?    I know I do.  I take on the weight of the world.  Why? I’m not really sure.  Possibly it comes out of thinking there is no one else to help.  Maybe also it comes out of thinking that I shouldn’t bother anyone.  I really don’t know.

I just know there are people who will delegate responsibility to almost anyone other than themselves, and then there are the people (few and far between) that will try to do too much.

As I get older I realize that you should ask for help, and leave behind those individuals have issues with responsibility. Possibly they know their own limitations, but evidently they are not willing to give you the time of day.

To be fair, I do know a few rare gift’s of people who would help if I asked, I’m not saying I don’t.  I believe myself to be one of those individuals. Why are they so rare?

I heard a colleague say something on this topic last week- “do you know the problem with giving a damn?  It makes so much work.”  It’s the truth.

Off I go to attempt to mark authentically:  to teach more meaningfully, to spend more quality time with my daughter, to keep the family home.  I’ve cleaned the house.  I’ve baked.  I’ve blogged.

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Finding Time To PLay

Posted on October 2, 2010 by brushedwithmystery

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